After separation or divorce, the next thing most partners with children worry about is how to co-parent effectively. True to the fact, co-parenting, especially during the holiday season, can be challenging. You might find yourself struggling to get along with your ex-partner, which can put a lot of strain on your children and relationship.
Luckily, there are ways to manage your stress and work with your ex-spouse to create an enjoyable experience for your children. Here are some tips for co-parenting effectively during the holidays.
Plan Ahead
You and your ex spouse have schedules that will likely overlap over the holidays. So, it is essential to plan ahead to avoid scheduling conflicts that might put a strain on your already complex relationship.
Ideally, you should sit down with your ex and create an activity calendar that works for everyone, including your child. Your plan should include important events such as work commitments, social events, school activities, and family functions.
Put Your Kids First
The main reason you and your ex are still in contact is that your children are essential to both of you. That is why you must prioritize kids during the holiday period.
Particularly, try to keep your own issues from interfering with the time you plan to spend with your kids. Also, do not use your children as tools to punish your spouse.
As you create your holiday activity schedule, ensure it considers your child’s needs and interests. For instance, if your child is an avid dancer, you should arrange for them to take dance lessons during the holidays.
Be Flexible
While planning ahead is essential, you cannot always predict what will happen. You might have to change your plans unexpectedly due to emergencies. When that happens, be flexible and compromise with your ex to devise an amicable solution for both of you.
For example, if your child suddenly falls sick a day before a scheduled holiday event, you can contact your ex and try to reschedule the activity for another time. Flexibility is a goodwill gesture that makes everything go smoothly during co-parenting.
Coordinate Gifts
Gifts are an unavoidable part of the holiday season. But the cost of giving gifts can add up quickly if you don’t plan accordingly. This is why it’s crucial to coordinate your gift-giving with your ex-spouse.
An excellent place to start is to agree on a budget for the gifts and stick to it. Also, try to limit the number of gifts you give to avoid overspending.
How to Deal with Co-Parenting Disputes
Not always will you and your ex be able to agree on every issue. If disagreements arise, try to address the situation calmly and respectfully without rushing to court.
“Litigation can be an expensive and time-consuming process, and it isn’t always the best solution,” says family lawyer Paul Riley of The Riley Divorce & Family Law Firm. Ideally, you should consult a family lawyer to help resolve your differences out of court. Besides helping you draft a suitable parenting plan for your kids, a lawyer can also represent your interests in court if necessary.